Entah

Pasrah ? Menyerah ? Lelah ? Berserah ?

Entah .

Mungkin tak terluah .

Makhluk lemah .

Yang mengharap sabar tak dimamah .

Yang cuba optimis disebalik cuba meredah .

Yang sedar setiap tindakan bukan mudah .

Ahhh ... yang berkata kata memang mungkin tak sudah .

Erm ... aku hanya manusia yang tak sedia untuk direndam parah .

Kerana akhirnya cintanya bukan murah .

Namun kuharap harganya bukan tak munasabah .

Semoga dapat kupinang dengan Bismillah .

Wahai wanita solehah .

Yang entah di mana tak betah .

Terus mencari dan memerhati tanpa lemah .

Moga kan ada pencarian yang bernoktah .

Aku

Kadang 2 tgk manusia gembira Dan tenang hidup mereka kita jd cemburu.
Bila org hebat agamanya, sdg ibadat kita bak hidup segan mati x mahu ,  rasa sesak Dada kita.
Ruginya kita maksiat ibarat hobi kita.sedang tentera lain sibuk memeranginya.
Malu nya kita yg kita xberlumba mengejar redha Nya sedan org lain memanfaat kan peluang hidup sekali yg Dia beri pada kita

Tuhan, dimana pengakhiran saya?

Mungkin di syurga atau di neraka.

Ibadat yg cetek kapan rasanya tak mampu utk ke syurga.

Tapi ya Rabb, neraka Mu terlalu hebat. Aku xsanggup mendekatinya INI kan pula tinggal do sana .

Pimpin lah daku....
Jgn tinggal kan ku....

Walau aku malu
Dek dirantai dosa dosa yang sentiasa mengekoriku

What had happen .

Bismillah,

Lately, a lot of things happen to me and around me. Alhamdulillah, early March, I went back from Swiss and passed all the courses with good marks. Spending time in office for a month until now is not that bad. I am a site engineer so basically I don't have much work to do at office. I met a lot of seniors who are very supportive and love to share their knowledge and experience. So its not that awkward. So far, my bosses are treating us quite well. We don't really feel the gap between us and them. I have to wait until this 13/4 to go for my first job at site. The good thing is, we as service engineers, we just need to show our faces in office for about 2-3 hours and then we can went back home. Some of my friends come to office around 11 am and go for lunch from 12-1 pm. And leaving office around 3 pm. Oh man, feel like heaven. But i still come early and leaving quite late provided that I don't have anything to do at home, well, no family here except my father who also went back home quite late, and no wife. Haha.

Speaking about wife, my facebook lately flooded with walimah invitation, pictures of engagement and wedding ceremonies and whatsoever. I went to futsal game with my friends, and they are all already engaged !!!!!!! and those who already become husbands are not showing the faces. Its like a pressure you know. Haha. Well I understand, its Sunday, and they worked all days during weekdays so Sunday is just the time to be spent with their beloved wives. Its a time now when you slowly lose your friends (I mean lose your time with your friends).

By the way, it's a circle of life. And I am 25 years old already. last two weeks was my birthday. And my age now is quarter of century. lol.

At the end, I really hope I can get the serenity and tranquility fi Qalbi , for the sake of dunya wal akhirah . We want akhirah, but we cannot neglect dunya . But I feel I don't do a lot to seek the success in akhirah . I hope Allah will provide me with His blessing so that I can enter Jannah without going to Nar. Amin.

Ya Rabbi, I am but nothing, without Your Love wal Makfirah . Uridu an udhil bainal mukhlisin . Its really hard become sincere. Please guide me Ya Rabb .

WAllahua'lam .

Next milestone

Bismillah …

Alhamdulillah . one of my targets after graduation has been achieved. Actually my main target is to be in oil and gas and do rotating stuff. But, mungkin Allah lebih tahu, Allah beri aku kerja dalam power industry and doing rotating stuff. Dan kerja ini beri aku peluang untuk merantau ke negara-negara orang insya'Allah . Later on, I still can join oil and gas industry if I want to, and from what I heard, to be in OEM company for turbine is a good opportunity to learn a lot (plus this company has side worldwide so I can travel a lot).

So, my next milestone is to find out zaujah. Somehow, aku still rasa something incomplete and I hope I could find out the woman at the right time, right place and right moment. Ada yang nak tolong cari ??? =P . 

WAllahua'lam . 

Life may be not easy

Bismillah ,

Life may be not easy,
Namun kerna-Mu aku berdiri sini.

Life may be not easy,
Namun kerna-Mu luka yang berdarah dah kering sendiri.

Life may be not easy,
Lemasnya aku namun Kau tetap memahami, memberi ruang, dan memaafkan pacal yang hina ini.

Life may be not easy,
Aku pernah lari, aku pernah kembali, walau berkali-kali kaki tersadung akar yang melatari, Kau masih tetap menemani.

Life may be not easy,
Hari ini mungkin aku bernafas, esok lusa tak ketahuan lagi, harapanku saat Izrail melawati, ampunan dan rahmat kasih sayang-Mu melebihi dosa-dosaku yang menggunung tinggi.

Life may be not easy,
Aku masih mencari, semoga bertemu insan yang Kau aturi, mungkin yang akan dijumpai, atau mungkin yang menawarkan diri, andai dia milik abadi, gerakkanlah hati ini ya Rabbi, satukan lah kami, dalam mengejar hidup dunia dan akhirat yang hakiki.

WAllahua'lam .

Mencoret

Bismillah ,

Alhamdulillah . Allah masih beri aku ruang untuk bernafas, walau banyak masa aku masih lalai dari mengingati Dia. Masa, satu ujian dari Dia untuk manusia. yup.

Alhamdulillah . Aku baru je habis 1 training course ku, gonna have another two courses in the about 3 weeks span here in Swiss. along this time, I have to mix around with different kind of people, different background, culture and language. Frankly speaking, masa kat Toronto dulu, aku jarang mixed around with foreign guys except Muslim. means klu dia foreign guys but dia Muslim, byk la yang aku bercampur. so I dont really have much experience to know about those guys punya behaviour . dun have so much confidence to get around with them maybe . haha . but, here I learnt how to mingle around and try to get to know them better . Most of them are kind , respect others , but of course , drinking , women and those which are not good things are what most of them are doing . but yeah , ini dugaan juga untuk aku . sebab later , insya'Allah ada rezeki , kena kerja dengan those kind of guys dkt site, kena la jaga diri . according to schedule, i might be sent to Taiwan for about a month after the training. but it just a plan, they might change it or I might have to go to different site, those are according to their needs.

Yeah , about getting married , people keep asking me, when u want to get married man ? haha . this kind of question dah jemu juga aku dengar . ye la . kawan aku ramai dah settle down, jemputan bertalu talu . well, walau kuat camne pun ko usaha , jodoh belum sampai , tak jadi juga dude . at least aku dah usaha . ramai kata aku choosy, well , not really choosy, cuma ko nk kahwin kot, sedang ko nk beli handset, beli kereta yang ko nk pakai ntah berapa tahun pun ko consider byk benda , ini kan kahwin . if somebody really, like really know me, they might know what i am doing . tp , ntah la . jodoh, rezeki, ajal, benda2 yang misteri. and aku ada sembang dengan sorang senior engineer company aku ni , n he gives me the view about my work nature . he said like i gonna travel a lot, from one site to another, might have emergency call to site (which one of the excuse for me of not getting into medicine field, ahak) . so yeah, if i wanna get married pun, have to get someone yg boleh understand about my work nature, etc kot. doa jer lah yang terbaik, klu sampai jodoh aku nanti, panjang umur, insya'Allah kahwin la . yeah , jodoh , byk je contoh depan mata , bertahun tahun kawan dengan orang lain, end up kahwin dgn orang lain . so who knows . my senior said , focus my work first, like after few years kahwin la kot . haha , ntah la . but yeah, ini dah rezeki aku, dan bidang ni benda yang aku nak buat, dan as for now, aku tak rasa aku boleh kerja office based. more than 3 months kot aku kerja dalam office , i felt like , dude, this is not what i want to do for now kot . later maybe la . so will see la . apa yang akan jadi pada masa hadapan . Peace yo!

Oh yeah , please doa kan yang baik baik untuk aku . thanks , really appreciate that .

Wassalam .

heart disease

Bismillah ...

The corrupted thing needs to be cleansed, purified and purged. And I think my heart really needs that .

WAllahua'lam .